PBS Memorial Show: Viet-Nam epilogue.
As I watched the PBS special Memorial Day show I was touched and for a period I was reconnecting to the patriotism of my youth. WW I, WW II, Korea, and Irag & Afghanistan. I was surprised that they had skipped Viet-Nam but thought they were saving the tribute until last. Then the Joint Chiefs of Staff came on stage and Admiral Mullen spoke the closing words of how America would always stand by and support their Veterans. Then the show was over !! I was stunned and confused and I thought “What just Happened?”
I struggled all night to understand the rationale and logic behind the obvious decision to omit any mention of those who had served and the 58,000 who had died fighting a war of such difficulty.
After forty years of putting the memories of the times behind me I was confronted with the memories of the times and of the war. I felt devastated and betrayed, I fought the many battles of mind and circumstances of the war, over and over. PBS & military dignitaries, was this some social experiment? Were the powers of PBS such anti-war advocates that they dared to discredit the Viet Vets? Was this another instance of being denied by the people and government I had served? The questions continued on through the night and this morning there was still no way to reconcile the disrespect I felt.
It had taken me ten years of struggle to overcome the stigma and guilt of being in a war that was so disapproved of and ultimately lost. I thought I had regained a semblance of sanity back. Last night, the insanity returned. I have had an application for Veteran health care for over six months and have not received one reply or confirmation. I have been forced into unemployment going on two years and now one more piece of the puzzle that confirms I am not an accepted member of American psyche or worth.
SHAME ON YOU ALL !! Do you have any idea of the psychological pain you have inflicted once again?
Let me put this into context. I was an Ohio farm boy that was raised with Lassie, Hopalong Cassidy, Howdy Doddy & Buffalo Bob, and a sense of moral and ethical ideals. Love of Country and Love of God was the foundation of my upbringing.
At 17 I joined the Marine Corp to serve my country. This was 1965. During the time I served, there were assassinations of political leaders, riots, flag burning, draft dodging, anti Viet-Nam demonstrations, Jane Fonda, and more. When I came home in 1969 after two tours, I was portrayed as a drug crazed “baby killer”, criminal, and overall a bad person for my service. I had to remove any mention of Viet-Nam from my resume in order to get a job and I dared not mention to anyone I had been in the service let alone in Viet-Nam. After much internal work I was able to “let it go”. That was until last night. It all came rushing back and I am heartsick.
I consider myself to be somewhat readjusted and have been a contributing member of society my whole professional life. Now, I don’t know. What concerns me is the pain and memories of those who have had a lifelong struggle with the War. How badly have you re-wounded them can only be guessed but rest assured you have done your damage.
This letter is to let those who served in Viet-Nam know that there are those of us who will never forget and will always honor and respect the sacrifice and the service you gave.
Many of us left our youth in the rice paddies and Jungles of Viet-Nam. Many more have left their lives. To these Heroes, I salute you and will always call you brother.
Bruce Hanawalt
Sgt. USMC 1965-1969
Semper Fi
